It’s Not Me It’s You

Breaking up with fast fashion

by Willow Bullington

Dear Fast Fashion, 

I know I’ve been distant, and I would apologize but honestly, it’s not me, it’s you. I’ve been thinking about the best way to do this for a while, and I’ve tried to construct the most logical and most effective way to finally end this relationship. The cut and dry truth is This is over. Honestly, I don’t think this relationship is helping anyone, and the best thing for the both of us is to call it quits. 

Fast fashion, we are done. 

This year I made a promise to myself to become dedicated to learning to live sustainably. I am dedicating this next year to living sustainably. In some sense, the sentence is somewhat hyperbolic, because I will not spend every waking moment thinking about suitability but you get the picture I’m attempting to paint. I want to learn and develop a lifestyle that is sustainable. 

In the lull of the late December I sat at the very computer I am using to write to you and began to compose a list of things I wanted to do this upcoming year. This list resurfaces each year during the same monotonous week (the week between Christmas and new years). Each year I write down some collection of thoughts, ideas, and goals I want to pursue. and usually I become tickled with anticipation and adrenaline; Because New year, New me…

​This year was oddly very different, this year I felt no overwhelming urgency to write down a list of items and tasks that I would convince myself would make me a better version of myself. 

2021 began with a previously unimaginable amount of loneliness, and depression, juxtaposed by an overwhelming amount of love and joy as the year ended. Leaving high school carrying the decision to move acrros the country often felt daunting, but I remained giddy with anticipation. As I wrote the final sentences pf the “Texas” chapter of my life, and begin to compose my next rough draft, I was met with the reality that I wasn’t beginning a new chapter, I was writing a new narrative for myself. A story of love and laughter with wonderful characters and happy optimisms, a story that needed no introduction, prologue or epilogue. It just was. 

And as everyone began to drink the kool-aid “2022 was going to be the best year of our lives”, I was unable to sympathize with that statement. Instead I felt like my new year was simply a time for me to develop my character and. And not just in the arbitrary sense of deciding to be “kind” or “nice” but instead seeking to create a lifestyle that would seek to shift to preserve the world outside of myself. 

​My life has always been characterized by empathy, empathy for people, empathy for the environment, empathy for animals, all in all empathy for everything around me. And for the longest time I pursued vegetarianism and veganism. Now looking back, no longer a vegetarian might I add, I realize that putting intense restrictions on my diet and food intake is not the wisest decision for myself. And while my heart and intentionswere in the right place, I sought to see change and thought was the best and only way for me to make change. But now, years later, I acknowledge that my  “heart for sustainability” can manifest in many avenues of my life. I want to be clear this series is intended for me to share my journey to living a sustainable lifestyle, I hope you will consider incorporating this things into the areas of your life they are applicable. However, I do not intend of sharing charts and graphs to scare you, or guilt trip you into giving away all your clothes. 

One of the most crucial parts of succeeding in this challenging change was reflecting. When I opened the doors to my closet in late December I was taken aback by the fact that all I did was shop fast fashion. I was feeding myself this narrative “When it no longer wearable, I will just get something new.” I had no concept for buying clothes that would last, buying clothes I loved and knew I would wear for more than a few months. 

And, like a toxic partner, no matter how many broken zippers, how many ripped pants, how many buttons that seem to pop off at just the right time, I came running back every time I needed a top for a party, or I wanted the shirt that everyone on Tik Tok had been obsessing over. I craved the comfort of putting on clothes that other people would enjoy no matter what the cost. 

I had to chose to break up with fast fashion and find clothes I love and learn to make them last. 

The title of this column, series, frankly whatever you want to call it, is learning what you love, and making it last. Vivienne Westwood says it best “Buy Less, Choose Well, Make it Last. Quality not quantity, everybody is buying far too many clothes”.  This desire I had to always shop fast fashion derived from overconsumption. Constantly seeking for something new, for something better, replacing what I had with what I wanted. Since making this promise in January, I’ve reflected on my habits. I had this habit of just buying regardless of quality. I was seeking quantity not quality. I felt like I had to constantly buy new clothes because I was buying cheap things that were trendy, not applicable to my own style. 

A clean break from fast fashion has been difficult, and might I add a long time coming. Ever since learning what fast fashion really looked like I’ve always associated a bit of guilt with purchasing new clothes. And throughout this “breakup” I’ve noticed a few concerning things about myself and my habits. 

Upon reflection, I think the most striking consistency within my habits was settling. My personal style is what I like to call an “eclectic Copenhagen grandma goes to a skate park”, and I love it, I love loving my clothes. But until I learned my personal style my tendency toward fast fashion was concerning to say the least. With this being said, for most of high school my clothing felt like they were a mask, a mechanism to hide myself and how I wanted to dress. I felt insecure in my clothes and often found myself attempting to fit a mold. If you read nothing else please take this away, the most effective way to curate a sustainable life and closet is to find things you love. 

Dani Meyler, a fellow creative editor and author of the wonderful column Unhealthy Habits, says it best “Fashion and clothes should be fun. It shouldn't be something you dread or something that makes you feel insecure. Don't be afraid to try new things and branch out. Don't be concerned with judgment. Having a cool closet is way more fun than fitting in”.

I don’t want to make some arbitrary promise that not shopping is easy. And chosing to turn from old habits always feels like winning an Olympic gold. It’s not. When you have operated under this constant cycle of buying, using and rebuying clothes, stopping cold turkey is hard. 

Growing up, I have always been very impulsively. And shopping is not an exception. A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with ADHD, and since have been trying to navigate my adulthood and the potential issues I might face. One of the biggest examples is spending, most adults with ADHD one way or another are extremely impulsive in terms of money. In an attempt to curb this issue, I have come up with a rule for myself. (this is not a rule I made up but simply adapted to best fit my own life), if I am shopping and want to buy something, I don’t purchase it on that outing. While this started as a mechanism to stop spending money so impulsively it has turned into a way for me to best to live and shop sustainably. From there I return home and give myself at least 2 to 3 days (minimum), usually a week to decide, and during this time I decide if there is space, necessity and need for whatever item I am looking at buying. This method is often disappointing because I love the excitement of styling a new piece or deciding where to put something. But, in truth the most sustainable way to live is by living with what you already have. 

Living sustainably does not mean you throw away allclothes that you bought from whatever fast fashion company you fancy, it means you evaluate your clothes and decide what makes you feel good and look good, and if it doesn’t, stop giving it space in your closet. Again, I am not advocating for getting rid of your clothes, but spend a a day styling outfits and taking pictures, and learning to love the pieces I purchased. 

Clothing should be a mechanism of self-expression which is why it is imperative to spend time curating and purchasing items you love. The journey to sustainability is also a journey of finding yourself and learning your own personal needs and how to best meet them 

with all my love and more 

willow