Resolutions

By Dani Meyler

I am nothing if not inconsistent. I had a different plan for how this week's column was supposed to go; alas, I'm not feeling that one. But, it's a new year, and my only resolution is to be less harsh on myself and commend even the most minor accomplishments. So let's start with that. 

It feels like every year, I come up with a new list of unrealistic resolutions and goals that I say I'm going to follow through with and never do. Which is fine, but inevitably I let myself down. My nature consists of worrying over things I cannot control and setting my standards too high to the point of debilitating anxiety and self-loathing. This year, I'm taking it one step at a time. If I get some shit done and end up bettering myself even a little bit, marvelous, that's one more thing I didn't plan on doing but did anyway. Setting yourself up for success is the crucial point in all of this, and if that means you start the race a little further back, then OK. You'll still finish the race at some point; you just might not be first. I'm not super into astrology and all that jazz, but if there's one thing I always read about Virgos, it is that they're "perfectionists," which is hilarious to me because I'm the furthest from that. I'm painfully average at everything. However, I've sort of come to settle for average in most things because most things are not my forte; but at least I tried. I've never really understood perfectionism or the dire need to be the best at everything, and if that is your thing, I commend you. Just let me say this, as a professional average person (non-derogatory), it's OK to breathe for a minute. It's OK to not overwork yourself for "perfection."

I entirely believe perfection isn't concrete, and it's totally subjective. No one has the correct standard of "perfect"; no one can actually dictate that. At least not on behalf of your own work/progress. If you make a painting and you think it's perfect, but someone else just thinks it's "meh," fuck them. If you worked hard on something within the realm of realisticness and think it's perfect, no one else's opinion matters. I find that the same goes for life. Everyone struggles with different battles. Some people's most complicated struggle of the day is getting out of bed, and someone else's is dealing with schoolwork or bills. It doesn't make anyone less valid. Not to promote laziness, because that's not what I'm saying, but I encourage progress in moderation. Not everyone can just enter the new year with a fabulous new lease on life. When the clock strikes 12, we can't all become a vegan entrepreneur with consistent income and financial independence, a great body, and clean lungs. Not all of us function like that! At least not me. It might take a few days into the new year to start building a steady sleep routine or taking one less unhealthy thing out of your diet every week. It might take more time for some of us to create a budget that works or start to focus on our mental health. 

Breathe, take it one day at a time, and do what you can, and I guarantee that works just as well. Unfortunately, we constantly move through time, and we can't control that. We can, however, control how we manage life over time. Be proud of yourself for being here right now. Congratulate yourself on being here in this lifetime, even though it may feel miserable at some points. The start of a new year can feel overwhelming, and it can feel like an overflow of expectations. But, you don't have to adhere to that. Work on yourself on you’re own time. Self care baby. 

Honestly, at this point, I'm boycotting the new year going forward and just partaking in the festivities of getting pretty and drinking champagne; that's one thing I'm perfect at. 

XOXOXO

DANI